Top 5 Series That Have Forever Ruined How I Interact With Girls

Being a blogger, it’s almost expected in clear “racist against bloggers” fashion that I’d be expected to avoid the holiday that is Valentine’s Day, or at the least bash it to death with a Mario-style mallet. On the contrary, while my feelings for Singles Awareness Day are neither here nor there, I felt like the “holiday” at the least was opportunity for me to make another List entry. So here we go, in typical blogger fashion, I shall be blaming my “one is the loneliest number”-ness on my top 5 series that have forever ruined how I interact with girls.

5. Disney Movies

Yeah, I’m starting things a little vague here and figured I’d get into particulars later on. Unlike most children (wow, if that didn’t sound like something spoken in a rehab clinic…) I didn’t grow up on your standard Disney movies. My sister’s a good five years older than me, so I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that my entire life, I’ve always had the option to pop in any ol’ Disney movie from our collection into the VHS player. And yet when I think back on the movies I remember watching, two of the five or so I remember come to mind that apply to my list: 101 Dalmatians and Robin Hood. With your typical American female growing up on the prince charming delusions brought to you by the folks at Disney, it makes one wonder just what exactly they’ve done to equally jade young impressionable boys throughout the world through their animated musicals featuring anthropomorphic animals in the main leads.

Robin Hood basically worked as a male version of a Disney Princess story, telling it from the perspective of the male lead instead, with the two leads pretty much destined to end up together. 101 Dalmatians takes a different approach, not really being classified as a guy meets girl story, even though that’s what gets the movie started.

Opening scene of the movie, male Dalmatian Pongo leads human owner Roger to the park so he may conveniently bump into female Dalmatian Perdita and her human owner Anita. After some bits of dog-dragging-owner-here-and-there scenes, the two couples finally meet, in what has become one of the most overused movie methods for guy meeting girl: falling into a lake together. The two couples laugh off the incident and are next seen getting married. From my perspective, there are two things Disney is trying to tell me here: 1) Pongo going for a dog of the same breed suggests that interracial (“interbreedal?”) relationships are out of the question and 2) Marriage is as easy as one comedic yet heartwarming instance of guy meeting girl—no questions asked.

5. The Adventures of Pete and Pete


In Nickelodeon’s heyday, live-action shows actually meant something more than a money-grab via some kind of soundtrack tie-in (though ironically enough, this was the only live-action Nick show to have a soundtrack). Pete and Pete told the story of two red-headed brother, both of who go by the name of “Pete.” While the younger Pete has offbeat adventures, the older Pete tends to either go along with them or have his own side-story, usually involving a “flavor of the week” girlfriend.

Oddities of the show aside, I thought it strange for some series to carry along a strict continuity between episodes, while other didn’t. In the case with P&P, characters remained consistent, but their relationships with each other were certainly not set in stone. In particular, the relationship with platonic female friend Ellen was covered multiple times throughout the series’ three season run. However, as was mentioned by the creators in the first season DVD release, older Pete and Ellen tended to fall in and out of love as the episode’s story called for it. So as offbeat and well-written as the series was, it was that same offbeat-edness that made my own awkward years growing up that much more awkward.

4. Boy Meets World

Nothing even has to be said about this series, but for those reading this probably born past 1995, BMW was your classic coming of age story told in a sitcom-style format, spanning from main lead Corey Matthew’s years in the 6th grade to his college years. While the series was able to go strong for the bulk of its 7 season run, you wouldn’t be able to tell that from its first season alone. The show started off humbly enough with standard stories from the 6th grade told in classic sitcom fashion with appointed bullies, jocks, nerds and the like. It wasn’t until its second season that writers found something to milk with the relationship that was Corey and female lead Topanga. The complete polar opposite of older Pete and Ellen, Corey and Topanga’s relationship practically made the series for a majority of viewers to the point that writers must have been pressured to maintain their relationship its entire run. This resulted in the Corey and Topanga power couple: a force so ridiculously unstoppable that any characters that even made an attempt to mess with their relationship were quickly done away with. Nobody past, present, or future will ever have the same relationship-might that was Corey and Topanga, so why even bother?

3. Doug


While it never got as big as Rugrats or Ren & Stimpy, Doug has a right to stand tall with its fellow Classic Nicktoons for making a respectable name of itself (at least until Disney acquired rights to it) even though its main lead was a dull as an eraser head. Sure, the series had a handful of notable episodes, but at the end of the day, you just spent 30 minutes watching the trials and tribulations of a pre-pubescent boy with nothing all that interesting about him, but just happens to have substantial enough people surrounding him that you were fooled into thinking such.

Of the handful of notable things about title character Doug, one most people would remember was that he constantly wrote in his journal about his everyday mundane life—including his super secret crush on Patti Mayonnaise—you know, the one that he would constantly bring up, no matter what the situation. You know those overly chatty guys that can’t help but brag about having a girlfriend? Now imagine that except he doesn’t even have anything to brag about, leaving nothing but long rants about longing and the like from an 11 year old. I only hate the kid more when I realize I’ve gone through such a stage myself.

2. Bakemonogatari (Ghostory)


Okay, heading into more obscure turf now. Released in 2009, Bakemonogatari, based on the light novels of the same name, would be considered a harem-genre anime if it weren’t for the fact that it’s so self aware of the fact that it takes on certain aspects of said genre and taking it in a slightly more dignified manner… well dignified in that you only get an average of one panty-shot per episode.

The story revolves around a recently-turned-vampire-then-turned-normal-again human, Araragi, who finds that a number of females around him have developed what he refers to as “oddities,” usually based on a type of old-school ghost curse. Every female in question always seems to be around our lead character at the most convenient of times that at one point the character himself asks if the sudden obtainment of a babe magnet was from his previous encounter with a vampire. It’s that kind of self-aware writing that makes the series for me… though also kills my perception of reality when I look up and am at an odds as to what to think when I realize I’m the sole guy in a study room full of girls.

1. FLCL

“You wanna throw everything away and come with me?”


Okay, so my previous entries might have hinted at this. Like many have said before, this series calls for multiple viewings to even begin to understand what it’s about, but once you begin to piece things together and realize that it’s the basic story of guy meets girl at its core, it makes all those viewings worth it.

Comprised of only six episodes, the series revolves around 12 year old Naota, who’s become incredibly bored of his town and everything that happens in it… until a certain inciting incident in the form of female Haruko literally slams him in the face with something to talk about. Through the short series, you’re led to question Haruko’s true intentions with Naota and whether or not Naota’s decisions are actually right or not. In the end, you’re still unsure as to who would be classified as the series’ heroes and villains, but that’s what makes things that much more interesting and relatable. Of course, leave it to the most bonkers series out there to make the most sense when applied elsewhere.

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About daemoncorps
Gabe (daemoncorps) has been writing about anime and the like since 2005, but has been babysat by it for much longer. He primarily spends his days distracting himself on twitter or writing for Fandom Post until he realizes he has a weekly webcomic (tapastic.com/series/scramblebouquet) to work on. He also just finished writing his first full-length graphic novel about unemployment (https://tapastic.com/episode/293804).

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