Mainstream Fanboy W@nking

"If it weren't for me, you wouldn't even have movies to fanboy w@nk about!!!"

(Yeah, the picture’s nonsensical, but I figured I’d spice up the otherwise picture-less posts with some kind of screencap reference.)

A good number of mentionings about Inception usually can’t explain the movie without first making some kind of reference to The Matrix, what with all its talk of just what exactly defines reality for you. Less than an hour into watching the film, however, I was more reminded of the first Narnia movie. As The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe came to an end, the four kids are shown to have led a full life as rulers of the land, only to be transported back to the real world, in which only a few minutes (hours, max) passed by. Having to live through your awkward years again is one thing, but to live practically your entire life over again is another thing entirely. Rather than medieval fights and more blatant references to Christ in the rest of the series, I think it would have been much more interesting to see just how each of the kids were able to do such a thing without going completely mad. In a nutshell, Inception analyzes this concept in a confusing yet still interesting manner. The fact that the dude from 3rd Rock from the Sun was in it was just icing on the cake for me.

But enough about that. Today’s adventure in blogging concerns another topic entirely: movie d*ck sucking… or “fanboy w@nking” for the faint of heart.

One of my many pet-peeves is not being able to watch a movie on its opening weekend, or week at the latest. While it may come off as incredibly juvenile to want to catch a flick as soon as possible, what I hate about watching a movie a good month after it’s hit theaters, as I did with Inception, is that people outside of newspaper columnists have already formed an opinion of the movie themselves. And while it’s not done outright, people like to push their thoughts on said movies on others, in an attempt to get them to see the movie and enjoy it as well. It was crap like this that ruined Kung Fu Panda for me when I finally got to seeing it.

Let’s take it from the two extreme cases. Before The Last Airbender came out, all this negative hype about the character casting was filling the internet tubes, mine included. Regardless, though, many people I knew that were fans still insisted on watching the movie, willing to look past the casting to give Shamalan the benefit of the doubt. Literally the second the movie hit theaters, the tubes were again flooded with fanboy backlash about how crappy each and every aspect of the movie was, with little to nothing in terms of a deeper analysis of things (at least at first). Having been witness to all this, little ol’ me, actually anxious to hit up the movie’s midnight showing, made a massive 180 and didn’t see the movie at all.

Now let’s flash forward to Inception. Usually, when a movie does poorly its opening weekend, commercials for the film on TV drop immediately. Now, replace “commercials” with “internet” and multiply its effect by a gadzillion, and you pretty much have what I witnessed. Not having watched the movie until recently, and being an avid surfer of teh internets, I could not tell you the number of times I’d go to a page only to be bombarded with trillions of references to and discussion about the movie. And by “discussion,” I actually mean something more along the lines of people who were so blown away by the movie that apparently “discussion” to them meant something more along the lines of “saying they like it without giving any reason and saying haters of the movie are absolutely wrong, continuing to speak about the movie while everyone else goes off on the merry way.” For the uninitiated, people online refer to such as “fanboy w@nking.”

Being a nerd, I think it’s safe enough to say I’ve dabbled with this concept both personally and from a second-person perspective. Thankfully, it only took a handful of eyes being glazed over during my “discussions” with peers about the wonderful anime that is Dragon Ball to realize that not everyone shares in my love of the series that way. I may not be the most sociable of people, but I do know that when speaking to another person, it’s best that the conversation actually acts as a conversation, switching back and forth between speakers, and building off of the other’s comments. No matter what you may think, nobody likes listening to anybody else go jibber-jabberring about your own unhealthy love for one single thing, be it movie, person, or anything else. Sadly, it’s mostly nerds that learn this lesson early on in life, with the rest of the world apparently being completely oblivious to such. Seriously, if you’re allowed to glaze your eyes at me while I talk about the inconsistency between kamehameha colors, I think I fully have the right to do the same when I’m bombarded with jabber about theories concerning DiCaprio’s character.

Conclusion: As much as I liked Inception myself, why don’t the rest of you people act like the non-nerds you insist you are and back up your praise with reasons for said praise in the first place instead of all this fanboy w@nking garbage.


About daemoncorps
Gabe (daemoncorps) has been writing about anime and the like since 2005, but has been babysat by it for much longer. He primarily spends his days distracting himself on twitter or writing for Fandom Post until he realizes he has a weekly webcomic ( to work on. He also just finished writing his first full-length graphic novel about unemployment (

One Response to Mainstream Fanboy W@nking

  1. Bill Klim says:

    I think that you are so right. You go dude! =]

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